So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Boobs are out for the taking
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
