He asked to "fluff my boner.."
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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