i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
