i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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