She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
