Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(203): View more from Connecticut

First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(203): First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning http://tfl.nu/rq6u

Replies (16) Good night (3982) Bad night (1523)
Favorite
(919): View more from North Carolina

All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(919): All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on. http://tfl.nu/8snd

Replies (15) Good night (5532) Bad night (1121)
Favorite
(620): View more from Kansas

You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(620): You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on. http://tfl.nu/djzq

Replies (10) Good night (3786) Bad night (991)
Favorite
(716): View more from New York

I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(716): I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am http://tfl.nu/oz9f

Replies (5) Good night (3430) Bad night (1396)
Favorite
(678): View more from Georgia

All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(678): All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know. http://tfl.nu/jvfd

Replies (6) Good night (1373) Bad night (1089)
Favorite
(570): View more from Pennsylvania

please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(570): please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic http://tfl.nu/e8z4

Replies (5) Good night (679) Bad night (2271)
Favorite
(503): View more from Oregon

I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?

(1-503): View more from Oregon

yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(503): I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan? (1-503): yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case. http://tfl.nu/ztrg

Replies (1) Good night (1412) Bad night (771)
Favorite
(506): View more from New Brunswick

oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(506): oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier. http://tfl.nu/v0so

Replies (2) Good night (2254) Bad night (1251)
Favorite
(804): View more from Virginia

I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(804): I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary. http://tfl.nu/ps0w

Replies (6) Good night (1563) Bad night (783)
Favorite
(845): View more from New York

I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(845): I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break. http://tfl.nu/bwgw

Replies (4) Good night (1829) Bad night (697)
Favorite
(651): View more from Minnesota

Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(651): Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door? http://tfl.nu/hi0q

Replies (7) Good night (1914) Bad night (589)
Favorite
(410): View more from Maryland

I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(410): I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money. http://tfl.nu/sp3n

Replies (23) Good night (574) Bad night (2165)
Favorite
(678): View more from Georgia

You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(678): You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest. http://tfl.nu/fvym

Replies (3) Good night (649) Bad night (362)
Favorite
(843): View more from South Carolina

He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(843): He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night http://tfl.nu/ezus

Replies (2) Good night (638) Bad night (316)
Favorite
(919): View more from North Carolina

No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(919): No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions. http://tfl.nu/s4to

Replies (3) Good night (295) Bad night (475)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard