The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Randomize
