1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Non-Jews are for practice
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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