I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.