when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I understand Curling. That high.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?