one might say we're banned from that church
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
