Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
