Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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