Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
