dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?