Texts From Last Night

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  (323): View more from California

  don't go home with that guy from jersey

  (626): View more from California

  i know, not worth the blood test

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  (323): don't go home with that guy from jersey (626): i know, not worth the blood test http://tfl.nu/va7v
  Replies (5) Good night (611) Bad night (1084)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.

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  (847): I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever. http://tfl.nu/o6xg
  Replies (31) Good night (692) Bad night (5340)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  they need to just BURY HIM!

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  (515): they need to just BURY HIM! http://tfl.nu/yy9j
  Replies (148) Good night (3847) Bad night (983)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.

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  (615): Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night. http://tfl.nu/na81
  Replies (10) Good night (904) Bad night (5339)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.

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  (506): I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision. http://tfl.nu/nkkw
  Replies (28) Good night (4511) Bad night (1402)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment

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  (908): He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment http://tfl.nu/mluf
  Replies (10) Good night (962) Bad night (3309)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.

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  (602): for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me. http://tfl.nu/jxdy
  Replies (12) Good night (4940) Bad night (1069)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order

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  (715): I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order http://tfl.nu/7p7j
  Replies (14) Good night (5299) Bad night (895)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.

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  (678): Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that. http://tfl.nu/i43f
  Replies (24) Good night (5047) Bad night (1077)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...

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  (908): At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ... http://tfl.nu/ikiv
  Replies (10) Good night (1249) Bad night (1481)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.

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  (765): Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence. http://tfl.nu/7p55
  Replies (7) Good night (1711) Bad night (662)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.

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  (651): You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME. http://tfl.nu/uum6
  Replies (4) Good night (2065) Bad night (1139)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion

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  (206): So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion http://tfl.nu/7dgu
  Replies (7) Good night (1531) Bad night (741)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).

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  (310): Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok). http://tfl.nu/yawu
  Replies (2) Good night (918) Bad night (378)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.

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  (832): Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard. http://tfl.nu/w1ic
  Replies (2) Good night (622) Bad night (308)

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