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• (506): View more from New Brunswick

  A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.

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• (417): View more from Missouri

  i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break

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• (985): View more from Louisiana

  she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.

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  23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (903): View more from Texas

  Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me

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• (801): View more from Utah

  "Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.

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• (289): View more from Ontario

  Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.

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  These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.

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