Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
