lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
