Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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