Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
