We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Randomize
