SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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