FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
