I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
