SEEEEXXX PLEASE
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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