The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
