apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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