she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
