Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
