he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
you didnt know i had herpes?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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