I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
you never un-have a 4some
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
