Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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