i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
