Got a toothbrush?
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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