That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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