Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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