After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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