I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize