We're like a lot better than the average bears
Someone shit on the floor
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
