I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize