So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
