WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i just wanna soil my oats bro
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
