She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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