i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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