He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
You've changed since you got that strap on
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
