you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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