My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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