Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
