your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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