Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I wear drunk well.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
