I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Randomize
