its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
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the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
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i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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