AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
