please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
