Since when is my name a synonym for head?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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