How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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