Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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