i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
