Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
