Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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