and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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