It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
