Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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