living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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