you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
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She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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