I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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