Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
