You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
There are leaves in my underwear?
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